Untangled Soul

The excruciating pain I feel
on my wrist is beyond compare
to how painful the ache in my heart.
Each slit on my vein feels
nothing if compared to my soul --
twisted, wrecked and wounded.
Upon my murky face
lies thousand of shattering dreams
but too bad I cast them all
in a jar filled with blackening dust;
pouring on top of the once glistening hope.
Falling rain hits my head, unnoticed
but how painful I feel --
as if I am shot with dozen of bullets.
In my own crypt I lie down
with bloodshot eyes I gaze
upon the ceiling, waiting
for God to unveil the misery
in me.

Finally, it's gone.

It felt good. I finally feel good about my life. To not dwell in the past, to enjoy every breath I have and to cherish every faces I see in my life, I couldn't thank God enough for this small blessing. My husband is a great man, I now have someone who could make me feel like I'm worthy of living. My students are my inspiration to keep on working my job, they light up my life. Each day when they greet me, or hug me, I feel like I'm at the top of the world. Yes, there are ups and downs in life. But I learn to be thankful and enjoy what's given to me now. I'm not getting younger as well, so I better wake up and live my life.

I just hope that I could be a better person, a good wife, an inspiring teacher. And lastly, I really hope one day I could achieve my long time dream, that is to be a writer. One fine day, I'll achieve that. Good bye sad pessimist old me. I have buried you deep into the grave of forgotten past memories. I wish you rest in peace. May you remain inside the hole forever and don't ever come back haunting me with your melancholic whispers no more.