Have you ever been constantly pushed to your lowest breaking point? How does it feel deep inside your heart when people wont stop accusing you of something you have no control? I feel like I'm spinning in an endless cold pool, with nothing but a dead beat stillness silhouetted on the surface of the water. I feel happy on the outside, I could feel the warm tingling my senses, sending red blushes and adrenaline rush upon my cheeks but as I swim deeper into the water, everything seems to be shattering, and it's tearing me apart. I could suddenly feel the shallowness hitting me like a slap on the face. I could painfully observe how quiet it is down here, how it is so scary to be swimming around in this voiceless pool.
I thought that when I have a chance to build a new life, I could escape this deadly pool. But I keep on going back, to this haunted pool inside my heart. I couldn't break free, I'm trapped in between. I was broken. When I was given a chance to revive my deadly heart, and I was almost so sure that I could make it, but this pool is dragging down me into my grave. Is it possible to run from your own shadow? Is it easy to leave behind your own ghost? I'm not sure, because every time I try to run, I find myself running in circle. I've been chasing myself, escaping from myself. It's like I couldn't escape my fate that is to be restricted to this pool and no more further steps could I go. Maybe this is my fate, this is what I have to do, to loyally sacrifice myself to the monster hiding underneath the icy water.