Of broken heart and empty mind
“If you want to kill yourself, kill what you don’t like. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself too, but that doesn't mean you got to stop living.” by Vargus.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She saw a monster lurking inside the mirror. She could see how ugly the creature was. She wanted to runaway but no one was there to help her to escape from the sad world that she had been living, in her world she was alone and in pain. Heart was broken, thoughts were filled with suicidal rhymes and for once again she tried to wash away her pain by dozing off those pills. Nothing ever succeeded for her, she failed. The temptation of dying at her own fate was suffocating her soul, she wanted to visit Heaven but the world was still holding her back, forcing her to come back to the reality and face the music. She was suffering in her own silence. Madness and imagination mixed up together which made her feel like flying high up in the sky but sadly she was brought back to the torturing life when the effect of the pills was gone.
She wanted to get away from her dying self, from the heart that was seemingly seeking for a reason to kill herself. She wanted to be free from the darkness and live in this joyful and colorful world in front of her. She wanted to stab the sad heart she had inside her, so that the pain would stop and she would be out there, enjoying life at its fullest. She had enough of broken heart and empty thoughts, she desired the freedom to breathe in this world without having to feel like dying in every single breath she took. Could somebody help her to get out of her misery? Could someone guide her to find the happiness she had been waiting for so long?
Empty. She felt so empty and broken. The dark side of her dying self was trying to choke her but she was certain enough, that to be living with a happy heart and motivated mind was her dream despite of her being suicidal. The struggle to stay alive and fighting those suicidal thoughts was hard but she tried, and finally she survived. No one should end up dying, because even though the whole world was cruel to her, she deserved a beautiful life and a second chance to make it right.
by 大崎 ナナ