Claudia.


Claudia was standing right in front of the school. She looked at those familiar faces from the reflection of the windows' mirror. She glimpsed at the faces of those damned kids, with clenched jaw and clasped fist, she vowed to avenge for every misery those bullies caused her. But, she was hopeless. Although the pain immersed through her veins, boiling every adrenalin inside her, but she couldn't bring herself closer to sweet revenge. Every tears she shed, every fear she had, they couldn't be bear anymore. She wanted revenge, but as those faces of the pretentious innocence children of good deeds and demure etiquette were torturing her soul, they said that as if she was the Satan of every sins they committed but truthfully, they remained blessed. So untouchable, she thought, but deep down she knew they were not that innocent, their hearts were as filthy as hers, and to imagine them smiling and pretending to be angels in the eyes of the adults made her wanna puke. 

Claudia vowed to put an end to her nightmare, and the day would come true. So she waited and waited, waiting for the moment to finally dig their graves and put them to rest. 



To be broken from deep inside
is to feel the cracks of wall
crashing down on us.

Pieces by pieces,
shattered broken glass hit on us.

Days by days,
left unintended,
mirrors were broken,
glasses were shattered,
walls were cracking.
all fall on us.

Do you ever feel like this?
When you suddenly fall
and everything seemed like falling apart, too?




“Maybe we should just stay friend.”

He walked away after saying those words to her. He left her waiting for another chance but she knew exactly what those words meant. She had no more chance left. No more possible choices for her to make it work. He went away without any further explanation, just those hanging words which choked her by the thread of its meaning. No way could they be friend. She knew he wanted to get away and run from the reality between them. He just wanted a way out of responsibility, as if it was throttling his neck, and maybe that was the sole reason why he said those words.


“I am strong, I am not going to fall down right in front of him, and I will get up again.”


She wished she could yell these words lingering in her mind to him but the courage was not there, the moment of sadness was just filled with empty space of awkward silence and she could not bear to spit out her anger to him. It happened so fast, the moment he wanted to be friend and finally walked away from her, and she was just standing awkwardly like an idiot.



Was it so hard to let go, or was it hard to make a person who decided to walk away stay in our life?




-frustrated, disappointed and truly broken-

So they cancel Lamb of God's show in Malaysia due to religious sensitivity and ferocious protest from the government? I would like to say:

Fuck you for simply claiming they promoted satanism and antichrist in their lyrics.
Fuck you for simply banning them just because of their genre without carefully understand the message underneath their lyrics.
Fuck you for being hard on us, the fans, as if Lamb of God asked us to betray our God and go kill a lot of people.
 Fuck you for not stopping trance party shows that have been held weekly with boozes and sexy bitches everywhere dancing their sweat off from their half-naked body.

I don't know what's their deal with metal bands. The government always claim metal bands as a way to destroy the Muslim's attitude and faith but hell no, trust me it is not just about metal. It's more than that. There are many ways for a Muslim to lose his faith, not just by simply listening to metal songs. And not all metal bands/songs talked about satanism in their music.

I am truly sad as I heard this breaking news. I wish I can see Randy on stage, listen to him screaming and feel the vibe of going to metal shows. I have been waiting for them since 4 years ago. Now, when they are about to come here and suddenly a bunch of stupid ignorant authorities started to attack LOG without even trying to understand the band's intention (regarding the video which LOG started a show with a recitation of surah arrahman). I read somewhere in facebook regarding that matter. It was truly contradicted from what the media said in the news. The intention, the meaning lies behind that action was not to insult Muslims but it was an act used to support their meaning of the lyric, since they agreed on some matter mentioned in that surah so they wrote a song about their understanding. The recitation of the quranic verse might be offensive for us Muslims but take it from their perspective, perhaps it is a way for them to express their impression on Islam.

I am so pissed I can't even keep calm and stop swearing.

ghost


The ghost walked past us,
it brought back those misery,
of how we fought and made fuss,
of every single treachery.

The ghost walked near you,
it flashed back those memories,
and slowly it whispered to you,
"Don't you forget her, deary..."

The ghost crooked a smile,
it told you and me to try,
to try remembering our lie,
and suddenly we both cried.

The ghost finally went away,
and here, we were trying to die...

Sakura



Ibarat sakura,
sucinya engkau tiada bandingnya.

Seperti embun yang menitis,
jatuhnya air matamu yang tertitis,
kerana
kau tangisi kehilangannya.

Pedih di hati, 
terukir di wajahmu,
yang sentiasa sayu
lalu kau diam membisu.

Ibarat sakura, 
yang gugur jua akhirnya,
kau jatuh dan tidak mampu lagi,
untuk bangkit dan berdiri.